Aim The aim of this study was to interpret and understand the meanings of the lived experiences of visiting of patients in an ICU and their families. Method The research design was hermeneutic, based on interviews. This study includes 12 interviews with seven patients and five relatives who had been in an ICU. The interview text was interpreted in a Gadamerian manner as different plays with actors and plots. Findings Patients’ narratives could be divided into two parts; recall of real life and unreal life experiences, the unreal being more common. Relatives’ narratives are described as being on stage and being backstage, i.e. in the room with the patient and outside it. Conclusion The final interpretation elucidated the experience of visiting as the sudden shift between being present in real life vs. being present in the real life of unreality. It was a process whereby the patient and the family build a new understanding of life that creates a new form of interplay within the family. The pre-critical illness life is no longer there – a new life has begun. To support patients and their families in this process of change a family-centred care perspective is necessary.